This review has been made possible by the magnificent team at Nikki Darling. They're a kickass online retailer based in Australia whose ethics are as awesome as the products they stock. They provided this product to Miss Smut Buttons in exchange for an honest review. If you're interested in buying this product, you can do so here.

[Estimated reading time: 7 minutes]

People...we all have butts. I would argue that having an asshole is what unites us as humans. Our choice on whether or not to act like one is a different issue. Fellow butthole owners, I understand that some of you want to put stuff up there. I understand that some of you have never put stuff up your butt and don’t know where to start. And some of us are so used to putting stuff up our butt that we’re always looking for a challenge. Well, asshole owners, I’ve found a product that can unite us; a thing for our one ring if you will.

Fun Factory have created the world’s most perfect anal training kit. If you’re not familiar with the concept of an anal training kit, it’s pretty much exactly what you’d expect. It’s typically made up of a series of 3 toys in graduating sizes. Beginners start with the smallest toy and work their way up as their comfort level adjusts. Often the problem with anal training kits is that they’re made from shitty materials that shouldn’t be going in your body in the first place. Or sometimes the graduating sizes rule out different grades of players - for instance the whole set is too small for someone who wants to advance to an intermediate level, or is way too big for someone just beginning to play with their butt.

This is where the Fun Factory Bootie Set stands out from the crowd. Their set is perfect for players of every level.

The Bootie Small

The smallest plug in the set is a wee little thing that measures just 7.6cm in length and 2.7cm at its widest point. This makes it the PERFECT plug for butt stuff beginners. If you’ve wanted to get into anal exploits, but have been worried about where to start, I honestly can’t recommend this little guy enough. He’s small enough to be almost completely non-threatening, while still having the right dimensions to provide you with pleasure.

The Bootie Medium

The intermediate butt plug weighs in at 9.3cm in length and 3.5cm at the widest point. It’s enough of a step up from the Small to be a new challenge, but not so much that it’s an unachievable goal.

The Bootie Large

Raising eyebrows at an impressive 11.1cm in length, and 4.05cm at it’s widest point, the final contender is enough to please even the more advanced anal players. Sure, it’s no “Great American Challenge”, but let’s be honest if you’re playing at that level you’re not looking to Fun Factory for your thrills.

The best part of the Bootie Set is that if you’re the kind of pervert who plays with others you now have a diverse enough set to accommodate any bedroom guest. I play with partners who want something little in their butt, and others who want to really test their limits. With the Bootie Set, I can pop a condom on any of these and use them with a wide variety of play partners. Let’s be honest, if you want to be a decent host, you kind of have to own this set.

Fun Factory has long been a favourite brand of mine. They’re funky, fun and friendly (not words you normally associate with German manufacturing). More importantly though, their products are always super safe and designed with your body in mind. Their Bootie Set is no exception. Each plug is made from 100% medical grade non-porous silicone. What does that actually mean outside of a sales pitch? It means that after it’s been up your pooper you can wash it properly and not have to worry about any lingering fecal bacteria.

I’ve used butt plugs made of glass, steel, and even stone. I often prefer these materials because I know I can get them 100% clean when I’m done, but the downside is that they’re unforgivably solid. Unfortunately most silicone butt toys go too far the other way though and are so soft that it’s like trying to shove a cooked noodle into a small child’s left ear. The Bootie Plugs have a really nice blend of soft silicone, but an internal firmness, so there’s enough give when you’re inserting them that you don’t risk any injury, but once they’re inside you, you can really feel them in all the right places.

There’s nothing worse than trying to use a plug that’s completely rounded. A lot of plugs don’t have a tapered tip and trying to insert it can leave you feeling like your asshole is a toddler refusing to open up for the incoming aeroplane spoon. It just nopes around, refusing entry to the thing you know is going to feel awesome. The Bootie Set all have an awesome tapered tip so you never have to find yourself in that situation. It also makes it a lot easier and less intimidating for beginners. If you’re just starting out with butt play there’s nothing worse than lying there trying to put something into a hole that seems to be sending the message that you shouldn’t be doing this. The hole is wrong!

The curved head also makes these plugs perfect for prostate play, and if you don’t have one of those it’s actually pretty awesome for use during penis-in-vagina sex, guiding the penis closer to the g-spot.

The flared base isn’t just there to keep the plug from disappearing up inside you, it also fits perfectly between your butt cheeks, which for some reason is something I never get tired of looking at when I’m using them. Like my butt is smiling with a mouthguard in or something. Delightful!

Because the set is made from silicone, you’ll want to stick to a water based lube. And remember, they’re going in your butt, so be sure you wash them immediately after use. They’re stupidly easy to clean, just use hand soap and water and let them air dry. If you’re using them with a variety of play partners, just chuck a condom on them before use (because no one wants to play with someone who isn’t safe with their butt toys).

In conclusion, everyone should own a Bootie Set*. Whether you’re a beginner looking to get into butt stuff, or an advanced user who hosts other bedroom guests, you can’t go wrong with these. I mean, unless you tried to use them in your ear or something, I guess that's the way you could go wrong with them...so don’t do that.

That is all.

You may go now.